Social Connection

For June, I committed to chat up one new person every day. And you should too.

Waiting at a café. On the bus. In a queue. On the beach. Anywhere I otherwise would’ve whipped out my phone, I decided to speak to someone new.

And how’d it go? Well, I didn’t wanna stop after June ended, so now I’m just doing it every day. So what did I learn?

1. I’m good at making excuses.

Every time I decided to talk to someone, my brain came up with wonderfully convincing reasons why this is not a good time. “They look busy with their phone - surely they’ll be annoyed!” No. People's reactions were pretty similar. First confused, then delighted.

No one likes waiting for stuff. Everybody likes being asked questions about themselves. People are happy to talk to you, you just have to make the first step.

Nobody smiles at you, but everybody smiles back.

And on the days where I was sick at home I just get to skip, right? No. I just hopped on LinkedIn and messaged interesting people for a 30-Minute-Chat. Connecting is the whole point of the Internet, isn't it?

Experiencing the absurdity of your excuses day after day really makes you question where else you're missing out on great experiences just out of comfort or fear of rejection.

2. This is fun!

Talking to people is just straight-up fun! I’ve yet to meet a person without an interesting perspective. And should you ever meet one - no one’s forcing you to stay! (And for the “30-minute-chats”: Not one lasted less than an hour, and I’m grateful to know these people)

It seems so obvious when you spell it out, but we're social animals - and talking to someone is more fun than doom-scrolling through Instagram.

And this isn’t just my experience! In a now-famous study on Chicago Public Transport, people were asked to:

(a) connect with a stranger, (b) sit in solitude or (c) just do whatever they do normally (which is probably sit in solitude).

Asked to predict which option would make them happiest, they gladly replied that sitting in solitude would be great - but when the researchers asked them at the end of their commute, the people that connected with someone on their train ride reported having the best time. What a surprise.

And it didn't even come at the expense of productivity - all groups reported similar levels of productivity on their commute. Could mindless phone-tapping really be less productive than we think?!

3. This is valuable!

Even though it's not the point of this exercise, there's some serious potential in encouraging serendipity. These conversations have opened up so many doors for me, and for the friends I've managed to convince to try it out, too (-> Podcast Invitations, Boat Trips, you name it!). If you really wanted to, you could even throw Buzzwords at it and call it Networking Practice 😉.

So, the next time you’re around strangers on their phone, consider striking up a conversation. It might just make your day - and theirs too! 😊