Do you use acceptance as an excuse?

Acceptance and Resignation are often confused. Won't I become lazy and inactive if I just accept everything? But to me, there's a clear distinction between the two. Just ask this simple question:

Will my Acceptance change the Outcome?

• The past doesn't care if you accept it or not. You're free to ruminate, complain, deny - or you can accept it. It'll stay the same either way.
• Your application was rejected? This one will stay rejected, no matter what you think of it.

“It can’t be any other way because it isn’t.” as my good friend Josh said to me once.

Now, there are moments where your acceptance changes the situation. Those where you have some degree of control.

• "I was rejected - guess I’ll have to accept that I’ll never get my dream job."

That's resignation. Accepting defeat changes the outcome. Accepting the rejection doesn't.

• "Being accepting" of your lack of motivation to exercise? Resignation.

In these situations, "acceptance" changes the outcome - for the worse.

So what’s the point of making this distinction? To me, it's clarity.

If my acceptance doesn't change a thing about the situation anyways, I might as well recognise reality. Or I can continue to beat myself up about it and waste my energy. It's a choice, but one option seems pointless.

And this recognition saves a lot of mental suffering. When Swiss researchers Nakamura & Orth tested exactly this model in a study, this is what they found:

“Active acceptance is positively related to both mental health and behaviour control, whereas resigning acceptance and non-acceptance are negatively correlated with mental health”

So keep in kind this simple question, and maybe it'll save you some energy.